Recently I have been attending different pre-nuptials of my friends here and there and I admit that I was a sort of asking myself of “When will my turn be?” Although I have attended different weddings before and I was greatly amazed with the moments being shared by couples I can’t help but still think about things that needs to be considered before entering into the room of togetherness.
The last time I was encouraged to list down these things was when I assisted my friend on their pre-nuptial photo shoot. Yes, I was so excited to help them, but deep within me I was so nervous when my time comes. I am not the type of guy that would be able to organize the same thing that my friend did honestly but I am willing to do it to make my behalf happy and to make her feel special. Anyway I am not the topic here, this isn’t about me. Back to the list of the seven things.
- Be stable emotionally.
Girls should really work out this part because they are the ones that are very emotional. They are the ones that are quite sensitive and cannot understand some situation at times. They have mood swings that guys should understand and should be prepared with. I put this one on the list because marriage isn’t a petty thing. Marriage is something that is sacred because it comes from God. I am not saying that only the girls should be stable emotionally; please don’t get me wrong, both parties should have the stability. What I am just saying is that gals are more emotional than guys. Before saying “I do” both are decided that it is a “til death do us part” kind of decision.
- Be prepared financially.
Some couples nowadays fail to do this one. Because their vulnerability when it comes to lust is so high, they can’t help but choose lust over preparation financially. The percentage of unwanted pregnancy is increasing and there are many young people becoming a parent. This is the reason why those who are in a relationship cannot sleep together in one bed.
This one is very important so the couple doesn’t need to depend on their parents in establishing their family. Preparing financially by saving is a must so that when the time comes that they will get married, there is no need to ask help from their parents regarding the expenses. And also they will be able to buy their own house and own things they need at home.
- Be firm spiritually.
I put this one on the list because I know that when someone has a firm foundation with his or her spiritual life, he or she can handle any kind of relationship well. This thing is a must to consider most especially for those people who believe in Jesus and have accepted Him as their Lord and personal Savior. When someone is firm spiritually, he or she has a wider understanding about the situation that is taking place and that will take place in a relationship.
- Get to know the person full well.
Getting to know the person full well should be the basic thing to consider. Some cultures allow the so-called “fix-marriage” but for Filipinos we should really have to discover the strengths and weaknesses of each other. You can’t just marry a person whom you have met for a short time. It is essential to keep this in mind because after saying “I do” on the altar, there is no turning back. Plus marriage isn’t a game, that when you realize that there are still some things that you haven’t known about your partner you’ll take back your decision.
- Get counseling from a professional.
I am very certain that this one must be done. Many couples forget to consider it. I might not know their real reasons why but maybe they’re a sort of regretting about the money that they’re going to give as payment and I hope I am wrong with my assumption. Professional counselors can help you prepare before getting married. They can give you some suggestions on how to manage marriage. I am not married yet so I will surely consider this one when my time comes.
- Do not be unequally yoked.
This is a sort of spiritual matter also but I believe this one must be emphasized. My point here is that you should not be unequally yoked to someone who doesn’t believe to the things you believed in. What I mean is that you should not compromise. You should always think about it. No matter how good the person is, if he or she doesn’t believe on the things that you believed in, tendency is you will have a conflict with him or her.
- Pray earnestly about it.
I believe in the power of prayer. Even before meeting your special someone, you have to start praying for him or her. I know that there is nothing wrong in praying for the right one to come along, but my reminder for you is that as you pray for him or her, please also pray to God to prepare you in meeting that special someone. It is a wonderful thing to know that God will be the one to write your love story.
I haven’t been married, but I believe that sometimes you don’t need to experience something for you to learn, sometimes you can learn it from the experience of others. Just saying. 🙂